WWE

World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., known commonly as WWE, is an American sports, entertainment, and media company that primarily is known for televised violence, reality TV, and white-washing the fuck out of Muhammad Ali and Martin Luther King Jr.

Founding
The WWE was founded in 1952 as the World Wide Wrestling Federation (WWWF) however due to budget cuts, CEO Vince McMahon changed it to WWF in 1979. The middle W had become too costly to keep using and so it was removed in order for the company to stay profitable.

WWF name dispute
In 2001, the WWF sued the WWF for use of the initials  'WWF'. The WWF insisted that they had used the initials WWF for longer than the WWF and so it was unfair for them to keep using them. The court case went on for several months and resulted in a loss for the WWF and victory for the WWF. As a consequence of the Trial, in 2002 the WWF was forced to change their name to WWE.

Trump
For some reason in 2006, The now renamed WWE actually allowed Donald Trump to attempt wrestling training. It is assumed that this was done as a joke but things very suddenly got real when Trump completed his training and was scheduled to have a match on the January 8th 2007 edition of Monday Night Raw. Thankfully this match never took place as Trump was too injured to compete and so was replaced with a body double.

In June of 2009, the future American president purchased Monday Night Raw for just shy of 500,000 bitcoin and has been running it ever since. Trump was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2013 making him the only non-human to be inducted into the institution[citation needed].

Championships
As with every Wrestling promotion, the Superstars of WWE compete for Championships. The most coveted of which is the WWE World Heavyweight Universal Grand Championship of the World. Currently WWE has a total of 427 championships including but obviously not limited to; The WWE Obesity Championship, The WWE Microsoft Championship, The WWE Underwear Championship, and The WWE Concussion Championship.

Now defunct titles have included the WWF Skeleton Championship, The WWWF Lunar Championship, and the WWE Deathmatch Championship. In July of 2012, in an attempt to stop him from hitting people backstage with a sledgehammer, The COO of WWE Triple H was awarded 34 new championships, all of which he still holds to this day[citation needed]. It was revealed in a televised interview in 2014 that the championship belts were not made of gold or silver but in fact lead and asbestos. They were actually intended to kill the COO but instead of killing him they just made him stronger.

Weekly
WWE broadcast several Weekly shows including Monday Night Raw, Tuesday Night Smack down, and Friday Morning Facepunch. These shows are free to watch for anyone living in the correct country to view them on free TV. Monday Night Raw is technically not owned by WWE but rather The Trump Organisation. The show was bought by Mr Trump in 2009 and has been rented out to WWE ever since.

Pay-Per-Views
On top of their weekly shows, WWE hold special events called Pay-Per-Views which in order to view must require either a subscription to the WWE Network for just $9.99 a month or for viewers to put an arbitrary amount money in an enveloped marked "VINCE" and to put it in the nearest postbox.

In 2016 WWE increased the number of Pay-Per-Views they held a year to 43, up from the last year which saw only 12 take place. But in early 2018 following multiple complaints by fans and another unexpected budget cut, it was decided that going forward there would once again only be 12 Pay-Per-Views per year. However WWE also decided to increase the time each event lasted from 3-4 hours to the far longer 14-23 hours. Fans can regularly be seen jumping from the rafters of longer shows, hoping for it all to end.

Specials
Other Content produced by WWE includes their original reality TV series Total Jobbers and a number of documentaries such as "Akeem, African American Icon" and "Who's Chris Benoit?". Not all of their content is well received, however. In 2015, WWE came under fire for their pilot episode of  'Superstar Grave Robbers' which saw then WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day dig up the bodies of dead wrestlers and examine the items they were buried with like a macabre unboxing video.

Fans
Fans of WWE's content are referred to by the company as marks. They are typically a force of unrelenting scorn and malice reigning down on those unfortunate enough to have not wrestled for Ring of Honor[sic] before coming to WWE. Marks usually spend their time online complaining about how terrible WWE is and attending WWE events and buying merchandise. The World Health Organisation recommends that people keep at least 7 feet away from Wrestling fans at all times and to not engage in conversation unless properly prepared and equipped to do so.

Steroids
It is claimed that in the 1980s, WWF chairman Vince McMahon regularly gave his wrestlers performance enhancing drugs such as steroids, human growth hormone, and spinach. McMahon was found not guilty thanks to a strategically placed neck brace allowing him to appear more sympathetic to the jury.

Montréal Screwjob
Known in Canada as 'Le Coup Tordu de Montréal' for some reason, The Montréal Screwjob refers to an event that took place on November 9th 1997 during that years Survivor Series Pay-Per-View. During a match between Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart for the WWF championship, WWF owner Vince McMahon came down to the ring with a .44 handgun and shot Hart directly in the head allowing Michaels to get the easy win.

Chris Benoit
In June of 2007 WWE planned to introduce a storyline in where Wrestler Chris Benoit would have, after apparently suffering from years of unchecked concussions, brutally murdered his family and himself. The Scripted storyline would have included Benoit revealing that he was still alive and in fact was The Undertaker's biological father. However, public reception to the storyline was so poor that WWE were forced to abandon it and attempt to backtrack on the whole idea. But since Benoit and his family were still technically dead in storyline they could not be brought back. It is believed that Chris Benoit moved himself and his family out to live in hiding in the Yukon where he still resides to this day[citation needed on all of that shit].

Jinder Mahal
In 2017 WWE put the WWE Championship on Jinder Fucking Mahal. Jinder Fucking Mahal! That actually happened. It wasn't a dream or a nightmare or someone's stupid 2K universe mode, WWE actually booked Jinder Mahal as the WWE champion. He held the belt for longer than Ric Flair. They didn't even keep it on him for the India tour. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN.