The Empire of Wales

The Empire of Wales (Welsh: Ymerodraeth Cymru) was an empire that existed in the years 1055 to 1707 on the British isles on the planet Earth.

It was known as the home of Dragons and the worlds most beautiful poetry. The country was, at it's time, one of the most prestigious empires the world has ever seen. People traveled from all over Europe and even some parts of northern Africa to visit Wales.

It was an empire united by a visionary conquerer but in the end was brought down by the awkward stubbornness of British attitude.

History
The Welsh people lived all across the British isles, farming, trading, and developing advanced forms of embroidery. They spoke an early predecessor to modern Welsh known as Wyllish, it would later develop into the modern Welsh and the late medieval High and Low Welsh languages.

Communities lived in large open villages or "Trefi" which had no walls and comprised of small thatched cottages and the odd druid temple or henge.

Roman Britain
In thereabouts 300 BC, the Romans of Rome conquered the islands and began rounding up the local populous, placing them in pens and collecting taxes from them.

Life under Roman reign wasn't unpleasant, though confined to their pens, or "towns" the Welsh were well fed and educated, as best could be expected given the language barrier. Latin was not a language that translated at all easily into Welsh so communication was mainly rude hand gestures and various forms of shadow puppetry. That was until 104 AD when the Romans learned to speak Greek backwards, which the Welsh seemed to understand perfectly well enough.

The coming of the English
After the mysterious disappearance of the Romans from the British isles in the 5th century, free from their pens the Welsh ventured out and began building a society of their own. That was until the early 900s when the English burrowed up from their underground tunnel cities and claimed the surface for their own, forcing the Welsh to migrate both north and westward. Those who fled north eventually evolved into Scots and formed The Kingdom of Scotland. Where as those to the west stayed Welsh.

The petty Kingdoms of Wales
Over the next 600 years smaller Kingdoms and principalities formed over the peninsula. The most pronounceable of these were Gwynedd, Powys, and Gwent.

While at this time Wales was divided and broken into these realms, other nations such as Scotland and England had already become larger more unified Kingdoms and enjoyed all the privileges of a large fully united country while the petty kingdoms of Wales argued and fought with each other.

Dragons
In the year 962, Dragons were discovered In the northern Kingdom of Ynys Môn, deep inside Mynydd Tŵr (Holyhead Mountain). After they were tamed, dragons became an icon for the people of Ynys Môn. the King owned the largest in the Kingdom and all of his sons and daughters were taught to ride them. it is rumoured that they also learnt to play polo on the backs of their dragons[unlikely].

The conquering of the seven Kingdoms
In 1053 King Aegon Ddargaeryen of Ynys Môn sought to unite Wales under one Kingdom and so he set off on conquering the other 6.

In early 1054 he rode Dafydd, his largest dragon south across the very narrow sea and took the Kingdom of Gwynedd. He also took 2 other dragons; Travis and Michael. Following his conquest of Gwynedd and now with his land armies doubled in size, he pressed southward, capturing Powys, Brycheiniog[what?], and Gwent, before the last 2 remaining Kingdoms Surrendered.

In the late December of 1055, Aegon Ddargaeryen declared his new Kingdom The Empire of Wales. No one opposed him as no one could spell his name to send him a strongly worded letter of disagreement. Or his dragons, it was that or the Dragons.

Expansion
In 1102 a Welsh invasion force landed in the north of Devon and moved westward along the coastline into Cornwall, eventually incorporating the entire region into the empire in 1105. the acquisition of Cornwall brought a source of both ice cream and pasties into the country. In 1123 the Isle of Mann was invaded and conquered. Following it's annexation, the first woman set foot on the island in 1125. The island of Ireland was first invaded by Welsh forces in 1131, with dragons doing a sizable portion of the work. For 5 years after the initial invasion a war raged between the Welsh Empire and the native Irish kingdoms. Ireland was fully conquered in 1136.

In 1396 Wales began an invasion of France. Not wanting to deal with the possibly threat of a full on Dragon invasion, the king of France gave the Brittany region to Wales as a gift.

Other events
In 1066 when England was invaded by the French, Wales announced a national holiday to celebrate the demise of it's most hated neighbour. Their celebrations were short lived however, as it was apparent that England would be replaced with a slightly more aggressive England that spoke French.

Fall
In 1707 The Empire of Wales was absorbed into the newly founded United Kingdom which Included the Kingdoms of England, Scotland. During the merge Ireland, Wales' largest and most populous colonies, was separated as it's own region within the union.

The last monarch of Wales was Brân the Bastard who went into hiding when the United Kingdom was forced into existence. He died[citation needed]... no, he's dead[citation needed]. stop saying that, it's been 300 years he's 100% dead[citation needed]. Fuck you.